#59 - Connection Over Fear
“Either you're growing or you're decaying; there's no middle ground. If you're standing still, you're decaying.” ― Alan Arkin
Entropy is a law of the universe. As the universe expands, star systems get further apart. This is only resisted by gravitational pull that moves things closer to a unity with a black hole. On a smaller scale, on the planet all living beings use up their energy and perish before returning to the cycle of existence. Even a mountain is eroded over time by wind and water.
We can feel fear of these things if we are connected too strongly to our individual existence as opposed to recognizing the more permanent and glorious light of the consciousness and spirit. One can find joy and love every moment if one seeks the beauty or lesson in existence. This belief, while it cannot yet be proven, lends itself to a more holistic experience of life. I find it can be reinforced by the electric universe theory and drawing connections to the electric synapses.
Fear itself is the source of selfishness and sin. How I one avoid danger and harm to myself or my loved ones? How can I improve my own individual material experience of life? This selfishness makes it so that pacifists need protectors willing to engage for their own sake. Even if people behave with love toward their family or tribe, they may be willing to violently or through trickery take from another country or group. This is separate from a different question. How can one build love and connection with another? Finding these connections is a greater manner of producing peace than seeing the other as a threat or enemy.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” – John 14:27
All people grow, and in growth gain greater understanding. One aspect of the theory of mind is that as one builds it one gains a few pieces of knowledge: others have different desires, beliefs, knowledge, and people can hide their beliefs and emotions or simply have inaccurate emotions and beliefs. As one learns these things, then people may just not truly understand the perspective that you come to. I believe in tikkun olam, that part of the purpose of existence is to bring all these experiences into unity to gain a more full and true understanding of the universe.
And yet, if one jumps past such foundational frameworks to the scaffolding of universal lovingkindness, then the entire structure fails. Imagine building a home and starting with the roof. Even if it were held up by posts at the corners, a single windstorm or minor earthquake would bring everything down. It requires the control of the frontal cortex over the instinctual emotional reaction of amygdala to avoid impulsive and potentially harmful decisions. If someone can’t guide their individual emotions toward better decisions, how can one put aside oneself for another? Building this sense of lovingkindness takes time and compassion.
I believe that truth lies in agreement between philosophies. The golden rule shows up in most belief systems. If we can seek and guide growing individuals with compassion and love toward less reactionary and emotional decision making, then perhaps we can heal our worlds. It just takes slowing down and appreciating that it can take time to build agape, a universal brotherly love. This compassion and patience can require a pure philo, or love of the quality of the other. I believe these two are the purest versions of love in the Greek definitions.
If we can find the commonality between beliefs, then we can find truth and understanding of another’s needs. This is why it was amazing for me to discover the Integrated Family Systems model. It is another version of the Micro-Voice Theory described in this blog. There are three core voices – an exile, firefighter, and manager. The exile is the traumatized micro-voice that the firefighter and manager work to protect. They function in different ways. The firefighter puts out the emotion by any means necessary, perhaps with addictive behavior. The manager changes the environment to avoid triggering the exile, perhaps by harming relationships around oneself. Others may not know how they are engaging to protect their exiled inner child, and if we can have compassion for their growth in understanding and control over their amygdala, we have a greater ability to help them heal themselves, and thus to heal our own worlds.
May we all be well
May we all be safe
May we all be free from pain and suffering
May we all know happiness
May we all know peace
-- SG
Sources include:
コメント